Top tips for talking about abuse
Research by the NSPCC reveals that while many people suspect child abuse, they often face significant barriers in taking action against it.
Through its new initiative - Talk 'til it stops - the NSPCC aims to help people overcome these barriers, so they are aWhat are the signs of abuse that I should watch out for?ble to take effective action to protect children from abuse.
What are the signs of abuse that I should watch out for?
What is the right thing to do if I have concerns about a child?
How should I talk about my concerns?
What do I do if someone tells me they have concerns about a child?
What if a child tells me they are being harmed?
What if someone tells me they are harming, or scared of harming a child?
If I call the NSPCC Helpline for advice, what will happen?
If I report my concerns about a child will my confidentiality be protected?
Sources of support
Many abused children are reluctant or unwilling to tell anyone about their experience for a variety of reasons. It can be left to adults around them to pick up on the signs and to stop the pain. It is not always easy to come to a firm conclusion that a child is suffering abuse but possible signs of abuse are:
- A child who is severely bruised or injured
- A child who is withdrawn
- A child who is dirty or smelly
- A child who is often left at home alone
- A child who is often hungry
- A child who is often crying or screaming
- A child who displays sexual behaviour that is either inappropriate
or advanced for their age - A child who is constantly put down, insulted, sworn at, or humiliated
- A child who seems afraid of parents or carers
- A child who is growing up with domestic violence
- A child who self-harms - for example, by cutting or burning themselves
- A child who lashes out angrily at others
- A child who runs away
In some cases these signs may have an acceptable explanation. But if you have a gut feeling that something is not right, the important thing is to trust your judgement and tell someone you trust.
Back to top
- The first thing to do is talk. Talking can help you work out what to do and make things better for the child.
- Talk to someone you trust, like a friend or family member. You can also discuss concerns with a helpline such as the NSPCC's free 24-hour Helpline on 0808 800 5000 for support and advice.
- In some circumstances talking to the child you are worried about or the adult you think may be harming a child may help you understand the situation better. But do not put yourself in danger.
- If a child is in urgent need of protection it is important to speak to the police or social services immediately.
Back to top
- Find someone you trust who you can talk to.
- You can talk about exactly what it is that is making you worried.
- You can discuss whether you need further information to decide if the child is being harmed and how you might gain that.
- You can explore your options. Can you talk directly to the child, one of their relatives or the person you think is harming them? Are the child's parents or carers struggling to cope?
- You can discuss what the possible consequences are for you and the child if you act - or if you don't act.
- You can discuss whether the situation is serious enough to call social services or the police
Back to top
- Listen carefully. How you respond may make all the difference to whether a child is protected from abuse or not.
- Don't make light of their concerns and try to remain open to what you are told, even if it is something that is shocking. Gently encourage the person to talk over what is worrying them.
- You may want to advise the person to talk through their concerns with someone who works with the child such as a teacher, doctor or health visitor.
- Follow up the conversation. Don't assume that the person will do something after speaking to you. Support them to see it through.
Back to top
- Be calm, gentle and empathetic.
- Listen carefully and take what the child says seriously.
- Acknowledge their courage in speaking out.
- Ensure the child is not at immediate risk.
- Talk through with the child what you are going to do.
- Respect the child's desire for confidentiality as much as is possible. Don't 'gossip' indiscriminately. But if it is clear that a child is being harmed, and you therefore need to tell someone be honest and make it clear to the child that is in order for them to be safe. It is important for the child to be able to trust you. Emphasise the fact that you have their best interests at heart.
- Do something to help the child - don't assume someone else will.
- If you need advice, or you think a child is in immediate danger, you should call the NSPCC Helpline, social services or the police.
Back to top
- Listen carefully and try to keep in check personal feelings of shock and anger.
- Remember, if they are talking to you they may well be asking for help. However, make clear to the person that what they are doing or worried about doing is wrong and unacceptable. Urge them to get help by contacting a helpline, support group or social services.
- Follow up with them to see that they have acted. Talk to others if you feel a child is at risk.
Back to top
- You are in control of how much information you share with us. While you don't have to give us your name, phone number, address or other identifying details, this information is really helpful to us if we need to contact you to clarify anything.
- We will assess your concerns and liaise with your local council?s social services department (or police in case of emergencies).
- If a child is considered at risk of harm, social services will investigate the case to determine what is happening.
- They will take action to protect and support the child, working closely with the child, their family and professionals. As part of this work, they may provide family support or therapy to overcome problems.
- Only in cases where there is no improvement, non co-operation or where the child is in immediate danger would the child be removed from their parents or carers and found a safer place.
Back to top
- Professionals such as social workers have a duty to pass on information that will help protect a child.
- They do not need to disclose who reported those concerns.
- If you are worried about confidentiality, talk it over with the professional you are sharing your worries with.
Back to top
- The NSPCC's free 24-hour Helpline is always available on 0808 800 5000.
Back to top
