It can be hard to know how to talk to your child about the risks of watching online porn. Our advice can help you explain the risks to your child, prevent them from watching it, and know what to do if your child has explicit or upsetting content online.
Why children watch it
It’s normal for young people to be curious about sex and relationships and sometimes they may search online for information or answers to questions they have. They may also do this if they’re worried or embarrassed about asking their parents or guardians.
Some of the reasons children and young people watch or search for this content include:
- to learn about sex and sexual identity
- for sexual arousal and pleasure
- out of curiosity
- for "a laugh"
- to break the rules
- to be disgusted
- to "freak out" their friends
- because of peer or relationship pressure.
Website pop-ups
Sometimes children may discover sexually explicit content online accidently by clicking on website pop-ups or misleading links. Setting up parental controls on your child’s online devices can help prevent this.
Worried about a child?
Contact our Helpline by calling 0808 800 5000 or emailing [email protected].
Children can contact Childline any time to get support themselves.
What are the risk for children?
Children and young people watching this content are at greater risk of developing:
- unrealistic attitudes about sex and consent
- more negative attitudes about roles and identities in relationships
- unrealistic expectations of body image and performance.
How to protect your child
Make sure that any adults viewing pornography on shared devices in your home don’t save their passwords or leave themselves logged in. Browser settings may need to be set to prevent passwords being auto-filled.
Have parental controls or filters installed on your home Wi-Fi and make sure that child friendly settings are in place on your children’s devices. You can set this up by calling your mobile and broadband providers.
Use our tips above to help you talk to your child about what they do and see on the internet, and to let them know you’re there if they have questions about porn, sex and relationships.
"I’ve been watching a lot of porn recently – it’s become a bit of an addiction. I think about sex all the time.
Whenever I see a girl I fancy I think about how it would be to sleep with them and do the stuff I’ve seen in porn films.
I can’t help it even though I know it’s inappropriate."
Boy, aged 12-15
How to talk to your child
It’s natural to feel anxious or unsure about talking to your child, but being open and honest can help them to understand the risks and feel more comfortable talking to you if they’ve seen something that’s worried or upset them online.
If you discover that your child has been watching or sharing explicit content online, you might feel a lot of different emotions. These could include feeling disgusted, shocked or like their childhood is slipping away.
But it’s really important that you think carefully about how to react. Children watch porn for all sorts of reasons, including by accident, and you need to make sure that they can come to you for help and advice when they need it.
Reassure your child that it’s natural for them to feel curious about sex and that they can always talk to you if they have questions or concerns. Explain that you understand they may feel worried or embarrassed about talking to you.
Talking to your child about healthy relationships can help them understand the differences between porn and real life. Talk to them about what makes a positive and healthy relationship. Ask them what they think makes a good relationship.
It can help to talk to them about things like consent, personal boundaries and staying safe from sexual abuse. Explain to teenagers that they can talk to you or get support from Childline if they feel pressured into having sex or watching sexually explicit content. This conversation may vary depending on your child’s age.
Explain that sex in porn is often different to how people have sex in real life. People in these films are acting and putting on a performance so things are exaggerated and the lines between consent, pleasure and violence are often blurred. It's important for young people to know the difference between porn and healthy relationships.
Childline has advice for young people to help them understand online porn myths.
Sometimes children and young people feel pressured to watch or share this content. This pressure can come from their friends, peers or a partner. Explain to your child that while some people watch it, not everyone does and it’s definitely not something they have to do.
Let them know it’s okay not to want to watch or do something that makes them feel uncomfortable and they should never be pressured or forced into anything. Explain why online porn isn’t appropriate for young people and what the risks of watching it are.
Some young people worry that they watch too much pornography, and might feel like they can’t stop viewing it. This can make them feel guilty or ashamed, and they may want help to stop viewing it. Childline has advice on addiction that your child may find helpful.
Childline
Young people under 18 can get support from a Childline counsellor via 1-2-1 chat, email or over the phone.
Childline has online advice for children and young people about:
Other websites
Thinkuknow - offers age appropriate advice for young people, with content for ages 5-7 up to 14+. They also have content for parents and other adults responsible for children.
Brook - the UK's largest young people's sexual health charity. For 50 years, Brook has been providing sexual health services, support and advice to young people under 25.
BBC Advice - helps young people with a broad range of issues. The information on the site is based on advice from medical professionals, government bodies, charities and other relevant groups.
Is watching or sharing porn against the law?
It isn’t illegal for children and young people under 18 to watch this content, but it is against the law to show it to anyone under the age of 16 or give them access to it. Any young person worried about this should contact Childline.
It’s also illegal for anyone under 18 to share explicit images or films of themselves or another young person, even it was shared with their permission. Only the police can decide whether or not to charge a young person with a crime. It’s a good idea to speak to them if you’re worried.
Worried about how to support a young person who has had a sexual image or video of themselves shared online? If they’re under 18, they can use
Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation's discreet Report Remove tool to see if it can be taken down. Young people can get support from Childline throughout the process. You can also see advice on how to support a child with pressure to share nudes on our sexting page.
Some types of porn are illegal, even for adults. These are called “extreme pornographic images” and include porn which:
- threatens a person’s life or results in serious injury
- shows violence such as rape or abuse
- anything involving children under 18.
